WTF

New Ho King

416 Spadina (south of college)
http://newhoking.com/

Reviewed by Erin

I have been coming to this greasy Chinese place for years, after a friend enlightened me after a long night of drinking. Every time I've been to this place, it's been sometime after 2 am and packed full of trashy clubbers - so theres always something, and someone to laugh at. In fact, the first time I was there, there was these two chicks talking about how, "for fun", the put hot dogs up the hoo hoos (they're shared one hot dog). But don't let the 905ers deter you, the food and service is amazing.

I always get the veggie Cantonese chow mein ( I don't order an meat dish from this place....afraid it might be my lost cat), and it's always nice and crispy around the edges and soft in the middle. All the veggies are cooked to perfection, and the dish only takes 5 mins to come out no matter how packed they are. Another meal worth mentioning is the Hunan Tofu, which is giant chunks of soft tofu in a sweet and spicy sauce. The tofu must sit in the sauce for a week because it is totally saturated in it and delicious. The only thing that really deters from the great food and ridiculously fast service is watching the poor fish in the tank die, and the fact that they don't serve "Cold Tea" anymore.

two can have a complete meal and have leftovers for two days for $12

food 5/5
service 5/5
dead fish 0/5

The Longest Yard

535 Mount Pleasant

Reviewed by Erin

This neighbourhood pub/restaurant is in the heart of davisville across from the tennis courts. They serve up the standard pub fare of burgers, wings, fingers, "fancy salads" and shitty wines. Hope to god you're not there on a day when the owner is there, she tends to scream and confuse the servers (who do a fine job without her). Also, avoid regular dinner and lunch hours, as there are a lot of spoiled, messy, whiny kids there at those times. The only thing that makes this place slightly more than bearable is the cooks "hot and spicy" wing sauce, which is the best sauce I've ever had. Also, they offer tossed fingers in any of their wing sauces - and don't ask me how, but the fingers manage to stay crispy while full of flavour and sauce. Make sure you get a side of plum and dip the spicy fingers in the sweet plum sauce.

2 out of 5 saucy fingers due to the loud kids and crazy boss.

Margaritas on Baldwin

14 Baldwin St.

Reviewed by Erin

This place has margaritas the size of your face in, like, 6 different flavours and the goblets they're served in look like fishbowls.

I've been to this place a bunch of times one (one of the places I choose when someone else is paying because I like getting everything on menu), but something I always get is their guacamole, which comes in a huge freakin' mortar and pestle and it's the best guacamole I've had (and I hate avocados). But if you're going to get that get a side of refried beans because they're are the second best I've ever had (the best was in Sandusky, Ohio). Anyway, I also always get the chicken tostadas - the chicken is sooo juicy and falls apart. The service is quick and friendly and the decor is cozy and colourful. Everything there is very messy though, so don't dress nice or go there on a first date.

5 out of 5 giant banana margaritas

Dos Amigos

1201 Bathurst St. (just north of dupont and across from the TTC terminal thingy)
http://www.dos-amigos.ca/

Reviewed by Erin

I'm really not picky when it comes to Mexican food, so after reading a great review in the Star (should have been my first warning), I decided to check it out.

I went down there with my boyfriend, and needless to say, we were both expecting something pretty spectacular from all the wonderful reviews touting the "scrumptious" and cozy food.
We went late on a Tuesday night to avoid the crowd, and ended up being the only ones there, so we were anticipating attentive and speedy service (something we're both REALLY picky about). We ordered the Tortilla Ranchera for an appetizer, for an entree I had the Tacos a la Plancha - soft tortillas with chicken and sauteed onions, Tristan had the Burritos (if you need a description then you're retarded), and some margaritas to drink. It took about 20 minutes for the appetizer to come out....and it didn't even make it all the way out, it sat under a heat lamp at the bar while the waitress was MIA. When she finally came back upstairs to bring us our food, it was cold, and when we told her she said "It's supposed to be served that way". When our entrees come out, Tristan's burrito cheese was burnt from being in the microwave for too long, and the portion of my dish was TINY. Also, both dishes had these pretty little sauce drizzles on the trying-to-be-designer plates, which was kinda' cute, but better left for an actual restaurant with actual chefs who can plate properly. Needless to say by the time we left, we were pissed and still hungry, so we went to Taps in the annex and got some nachos - which were "scrumptious".

If you want good Mexican food go anywhere else, especially Margaritas on Baldwin.
(Yoav says La Mexicana on Bathurst)

Also, be wary of anything with a "Recommended by Toronto Life..." sticker on the door....this is not the first time I've been duped......oh yeah, did I mention the waitress was a bitch?

0 out of 5

El Plebeyo

1435 Bathurst St. at St. Clair
Toronto, Ont, M5R 3J2
Tel:416.532.5627

reviewed by Lucas:

Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:25:39 AM)
heya1`  


Yoav says: (11:25:59 AM)
how was ur dinner?  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:26:42 AM)
really really good  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:26:45 AM)
peruvian  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:27:00 AM)
awesome potato dish I had  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:27:02 AM)
and some shrip  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:27:04 AM)
shrimp//  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:27:09 AM)
and sangria  


Yoav says: (11:27:22 AM)
are u gonna write a review?  


Luc - JON....I LOVE HIM!!! says: (11:28:02 AM)
oh crap ....


To be continued...

Acqua 50 Ristorante

416-782-4449
953 Eglinton Avenue West
M6C 2C4

I live on Eglinton West, and there is a little stretch here that is packed with restaurants; sometimes opening and closing in a matter of months. The newest addition in this area is Acqua 50, so I figured I'd check it out. It is located on the Southwest corner of Eglinton and Rostrevor. This location is literally a block away from my house and was until recently the home of Nord-Sud Restaurant. A year before it was Mariachi Loco. Once upon a time it was Bagel Paradise. Lucas can tell you all about that one.

...ANYWAYS...

I went with my folks to Acqua and it was really good. I was surprised to see that a new restaurant would have such an extensive menu - there were at least 7 daily specials! The server said that they're trying to take a market approach and focus on daily recipes - a promising strategy, if only for the time being.

I ordered the gnocchi primavera. Although there were no peppers (which I love), the carrots and zucchini were cooked perfectly. I was pleasantly surprised to find that there were 2 varieties of gnocchi inside: potato and spinach. The sauce was light, fresh, and well-seasoned. My mom ordered the grilled shrimp and greatly enjoyed it.

The restaurant was under-decorated for the quality of the food. The server seemed new but was very friendly and eager to please.

Price: Moderate ($10-20 per main)

Value: Excellent

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Bulldog Coffee

89 Granby St.
Toronto, ON
M4Y 2C5
http://www.bulldogtoronto.com/

I was downtown today doin' some shit and I hadn't had my caffeine kick yet. My friend Erin took me to this place once and I liked it so I went back. I got a large latte ($3) and it was really tasty. Strong and smooth; it reminded me of Amsterdam. Nice little shop with a beautiful vintage espresso machine. Located at the South end of the gay village, just off Church street. Friendly servers.

Oh! They also make cute little designs in your coffee. I got a leaf today.

I Bulldog Coffee.

Frank's Pizza House

1352 St. Clair Avenue West
(416) 654-6554

Frank's Pizza house is a fairly standard Italian restaurant that focuses on the very basics: salada, pasta, and pizza. Although their pasta is pretty good, I usually go with a pizza because it's their specialty. Last time I was there I shared a tomato, garlic and bacon pizza with Rebecca. It was really tasty: the tomato sauce was nicely seasoned, the cheese was cheesey and the flavours were well-balanced. It was a bit greasy, but hey, what good pizza isn't?

I also had a caesar salad which was overdressed; I hate it when that happens. To all the chefs out there: I know you're sick of making caesar salads, but if you take the time and care about what you're doing, it can make the difference between a really amazing salad and a mediocre one. If you don't believe me, try the rustique salad at Le Paradis.

Price: Average ($5 salad, $11 pizza)

Rating: 3/5

Mai Thai

2364 Yonge St.
Toronto, ON M4P 2C4
(416) 488-2250

Mai Thai has been one of my favourite places for a long, long time. They have the best thai yellow curry in the city and it's my sister's favourite pad thai, so it's always on our short list for a night out.

The service is always good, but can sometimes seem a bit unfriendly. My girlfriend has a huge crush on one of the waiters so this can be a good eye candy joint for the ladies if you're there on the right night.

The last time I went was with a couple of friends, and I decided to try something new. I like thai curry so much I figured I'd give the tamarind curry a try. WOW it tasted a lot like tamarind. It was amazing at first but it turned out to be a bit too much. Next time I'll try something else.

It was both of my friends' first times there and they were blown away by the food. I think I've just created two more regulars.

Price: Moderate ($10-$16 per main dish)

Rating: 4 / 5

Spring Rolls

40 Dundas St. West
416-585-2929
http://www.springrolls.ca/

I was downtown visiting my dad and sister and we figured we'd grab some dinner before heading uptown. We walked by this place and figured, "Hey, it's a corporate asian restaurant, it has to be OK, right?" WRONG.

It wasn't OK.

First off the good: The restaurant is beautifully decorated in a modern asian style: clean lines, ambient lighting, modern. I like modern. The servers were attentive and friendly.

I should have known we were in trouble when I mentioned to the server how I love the palak paneer at Salad King. She said it was definitely better there, so I decided to avoid the Thai fare. I got a simple Cantonese Chow Mein. It was OK. My father got the special which was a beef dish and rice, he seemed to like it. The mango salad was far too ripe and had too much cilantro. The green tea taste like peanuts. And my sister said the pad thai was so bad she didn't even want to eat it. I tasted it and agreed. It tasted like vermicelli with campbells' tomato soup and a teaspoon of sugar. I could not believe how bad it was. I shared my chow mein with her. I took the pad thai home and tried to pawn it off on my roommates with no success, so I used it as fertilizer. The azaleas vomited.

I wrote a letter to the company to tell them about the experience. 4 weeks later and no reply.

So I guess if you want to sit in a really, really pretty restaurant and eat average chow mein for slightly a above average price, check this place out. If you want pad thai go somewhere else.

Price: Moderate ($10-$14 per main)

Rating: 1.5 / 5

Toby's Good Eats

5095 Yonge Street
North York, ON M2N 6Z4
416-225-2995
http://www.tobysgoodeats.com/

I remember going to Toby's at Yonge and College with my family when I was a kid. I was a picky eater and I loved that place because they had the best chicken fingers and fries ever. I was sad to see all the locations I knew had closed down. But when I was at Yonge and Sheppard yesterday I noticed that they have a location right next to the SilverCity, so I figured I'd pop in.

Gone was the kitchy decor and doggy motif. It seemed a little too classy for a burger joint. The place was DEAD. Except for me there was only one person in there, so needless to say the server was very attentive. It was 1:30pm so there should have been a bigger lunch crowd I think.

I ordered a BLT and fries, hoping that they were the same chunky fries I remembered. They kinda were, although they didnt seem as big as before. However, compared to other places they are REALLY chunky. Think of your uncle Sol's thumbs. Yeah, that chunky. Once they cooled down they were awesome.

The BLT was really good too with a nice big stack of tomato and a decent amount of bacon. Next time I'm around there and I'm feeling pubby I'll go back for sure.

Price: $10.40 for a BLT, fries and a pop. Expensive, but standard for a nice, sit-down place.

Rating: 4 chunks out of 5